What are the odds of both my grandfathers passing away within 3 months of each other?
As you know by now, I was never close to any of my grandparents mostly because I was one of the youngest and hence, they didn't take care of me. My siblings and older cousins were constantly being taken care by my both sets of grandparents because all the parents needed to go to work.
Over the past few years, my grandfather was growing weaker and weaker, especially after my grandmother passed away 10 years ago. My grandfather used to be very fit. He cycled everywhere and was super active but after she was gone, it was like he had given up. . .
There are so many stories I could tell you about my grandfather but. . . I don't want this post to be too wordy and some things are best kept in my mind for myself and close to my heart.
My father used to tell me that when he was younger, my grandfather used to go out all the time and rarely ate at home. Every Sunday, he'd go watch Horse Racing and place bets. He also loved eating unhealthy food such as Char Kuay Teow, Hokkien Mee, etc. He'd pick Chinese and Hawker food over Western food any day.
My grandfather also used to be a post master and they shifted a lot, moving from post office to post office of which Changi Post Office held the best memories for my dad. Apparently when they first moved there, within 2 weeks, practically the whole church knew who my grandfather was. That just showed you how friendly he was.
When my grandfather was a teenager, and the Japanese soldiers came to Singapore (during WW2), they somehow hired him to be their assistant, which is weird because he's Eurasian and the Japanese hated Caucasians and Eurasians, but it's probably because they didn't know he was Eurasian because he looks pretty Chinese. Anyway, he rode around in the jip with them and they even let him have his own sword. When people bowed down to the soldiers, they bowed down to him too. LOL.
Anyway, moving on, my grandfather was a good man. He was extremely holy too, as was my grandmother. He became a sacristan for 20 years and cycled to church every morning at 4am just to open the gates for people. If he was late for a few minutes, people would kind of scold him. My grandmother also scolded him for giving too much face to people. He had also actually tried to join the priesthood before he married my grandmother but I guess it wasn't his calling after all.
During the funeral mass, my dad, being the eldest, gave the eulogy. I can't exactly remember everything he said but here are a few points.
My grandfather was generous and empathetic. Whenever he saw people cry, he would give in. During the racial riots in Singapore, there were some Malays (I think the postmen and their families), who needed a place to hide so they came to their house, begging to be let in. He wanted to say no, because it was such a dangerous thing to do but the moment the wives started crying, his heart gave in and he let them stay. They stayed there for 3 days.
Whenever they hosted parties at their house, my grandfather always made sure he bought a lot of food and refreshments just to ensure his guests were happy and enjoying themselves and my grandmother used to scold him for spending so much for others. But that was just in his nature. He was a generous man.
He also didn't have any favourites among his children. He had 3 daughters and 5 sons and yet he treated each of them equally and never favoured one more than the rest. He was also super family-oriented and was proud of everyone. He would tell his friends about his children's accomplishments and sometimes he'd over-exaggerate. For example, when my dad passed his BAR Exam, he told people my dad became the Chief Justice. HAHAHA.
Also, like I said, my grandfather was extremely holy and prayerful. When they went to church on Sundays, he'd ask his kids if they were in a "state of grace". If they were not, he wouldn't let them go for communion. But of course, they'd always say that yes, they were in a state of grace.
That's just one of the values he upheld. Religion was extremely important. When my uncle said that he was going to marry a Muslim and convert, my grandparents prayed in front of the altar everyday. My grandmother was also extremely sad, right til the day she died. I guess she was hoping that he would come back to the Catholic faith /:
Another value is that you had to respect your elders. Always greet them, which I do admit, sometimes I don't. . .
I realised that as the years passed, my grandfather became more emotional and he'd always cry, especially when he thought about my grandmother. Few months ago at my 21st birthday, as he was leaving, he kept waving to everyone while crying. So I walked him out and waited with him til my uncle came round with the car. I even took a selfie with him. I don't know why but I somehow felt that would be the last time he would ever be attending my birthday.
Also, like I said, my grandfather was extremely active last time. Over the last 5 years, he became less physically abled. He always needed help to walk anywhere, even to go to the toilet. He also became wheel-chair bound. As my father said, "The last 5 years were extremely frustrating for my dad." He constantly asked God when it was his time to go. He had lost his ability to be independant and walk by himself and also he had lost his love. I realised that as the years passed, my grandfather became more emotional and he'd always cry, especially when he thought about my grandmother.
Well Papa, God heard you and you finally got your wish. I hope your happier up there in heaven with Mama Mabel, and all your friends.
We'll meet again, one day in Paradise <3
It's funny how death brings everyone together. . .
First time in more than 10 years that we've taken a full cousin photo.
