Okay, don't let the title of the post deceive you. April really wasn't that amazing. I had countless projects to complete and I was extremely tired and irritable. 

On a plus note, April was the month Alessandria turned 1 years old! I can't believe a year has flown by so quickly. She's growing up to be such a big, beautiful girl now. 

I also started and completed 2 TV series. 1 American, 1 Korean. I've started Game of Thrones and Descendants of the Sun. 

NO REGRETS AT ALL. 

Regretting not starting them earlier honestly. I've been suffering from major withdrawal symptoms from Descendants of the Sun though. 

CAPTAIN YOO SHI JIN!!!

Btw, it's really quite evident how dead my blog is. So if you are really interested to know what shenanigans, or lack thereof, that I get into, you can follow me on Dayre.

Anyway I've started my holidays so yay! 3 weeks break before Summer!

'til next time ~

I have posted this on my Dayre as well. Hope you enjoy the read ~

Background story, in Ancient Greece, there were two brothers; Prometheus and Epimetheus. They had upset the gods, especially Zeus, as Prometheus had stole fire from Hephaestos, a blacksmith. So, Zeus decided to punish the brothers and sent Epimetheus a beautiful woman whom he had created and named Pandora. Prometheus warned his brother not to accept any gifts from the gods but he didn't listen because he was charmed by Pandora's beauty and decided to marry her. Zeus then sent them a wedding gift; a box which he told Pandora to never open. 

Of course, it's human nature to be curious and eventually, one day, she gave in to temptation and opened it, expecting to see gold and riches. 

She thought wrong. 

Zeus had actually filled the box with all the terrible evils he could think of. All the evils of humanity came buzzing out; poverty, disease, misery and so on. The evils stung Pandora repeatedly and she tried slamming the box shut but it was too late. 

She started to sob when she heard a little voice come from inside the box. By this time, Epimetheus was consoling Pandora and he told her that there couldn't possibly be anything worst left inside the box so they opened the box again. And inside, they found Hope. It fluttered from the box and touched the wounds created by the evil creatures, and healed them. Even though Pandora had released all the evils of the world, she had also allowed Hope to follow them. 

With this story in mind, I started thinking to myself. Why was Hope in the box with all the other evils in the first place? Maybe Hope isn't really what we think it to be; a positive thing. Maybe it's an evil as well, just disguised as a beautiful thing. Whenever we're feeling like nothing is going our way and we're at our worst, the thing that keeps us going is the light at the end of the tunnel and that there is Hope that things will get better. 

However, Hope also leads to expectation. 

According to the dictionary, 

HOPE 

həʊp/

noun

1. a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen.

However, when we expect too much, and something we desire doesn't happen, we tend to get disappointed and we equate that Hope to False Hope.

It's like when we love someone so much and sacrifice everything for them, but they don't seem to do the same despite them insisting they do love you, and you end up disappointed because we expect them to do the same things for us in return. However, everyone loves in different ways and the way one shows love may differ from another. But we tend to forget that and we end up feeling unloved. 

But then again, love is a different matter and I won't delve into that right now. 

It's also like how if we were to get diagnosed with a terrible illness right now and you feel like you're bound to die but the doctors tell you they're working on a treatment to get you better and you hold on to that Hope that you really will heal but. . . the treatment ends up not working on you, or they take too long to come up with a treatment for your illness. Then you lose all Hope because you really are going to die. 

So I guess, Hope really isn't such a good thing because of all the expectation and disappointment it potentially brings. 

Edit: I had actually typed everything above a few weeks ago but after talking to Chris about it and he says Hope was in the box with all the other evils because before all the bad things were released, the people were happy and carefree without any problems,  hence, there really wasn't any need for Hope at all because there was no misery whatsoever so I guess that theory works too. 

Hi, as you can see, my blog is pretty much dead and is severely lacking in updates. 

If for whatever reason, you miss my blogging and nonsense, or just want to know what's going on in my life, you can follow me on my Dayre. I'm way more active there. 

http://dayre.me/wildxlupine

The rules of dating are extremely different from what it was 5 years ago. Or maybe. . . it was always this complicated but I just didn't realise it at that time.

Now, everyone (in general) wants to just casually date, and not commit at all. I'm so sick of it!

I don't want to just go on 1 or 2 dates with you without there being any future to look forward to together. But it's so hard to gauge what kind of person he is from simply texting.

Sigh.

And then when you do go out, and the date is great, and you go out a few more times after that, he still shows no inkling of interest in you or makes no move that makes you feel like he's even remotely serious about you. And there are some guys who still clearly aren't over their ex.

THAT'S REALLY THE WORST. Meh.

Okay I feel like my thought and what I'm typing is getting really incoherent. But you get what I mean right?

I'm not interested in casually dating more than one person. I just want to date one person, and settle down.

Oh and also when you go out on a date, I've no idea when to text them and if I'm texting them too frequently. Like. . . am I bothering you?

I really cannot deal with people who take hours to reply back when I'm the kind who replies back almost instantaneously (most of the time). Like. . . am I not worth your time at all?

Aiyah. . . I don't know what I'm saying already. HAHAHAHA.

BYE.

Honestly speaking, I thought my birthday this year would suck and that I'd spend it at home.

For lunch, my UBaes asked me where I wanted to go and I suggested Hai Di Lao since I've never been there before. We went to the 313 Somerset outlet and it was pretty empty because it was still early afternoon when we reached so we didn't need to queue up or enjoy the free manicure service. 

Overall, I think HDL was not too bad. I would definitely visit it again. But I wouldn't say it was that fantastic. I always see everyone raving about the spicy soup but in my opinion, it was simply filled with chilli oil and also made my veggies taste weird. I really liked it when the noodle man came to our table and did some HDL's Got Talent for us HAHAHA. 

Ended the meal with rainbow cake, which Sam went down to buy, and everyone singing Happy Birthday. 

Dinner was spent at Tanjong Pagar with The Official Bitch Club, sans San because she's still in Birmingham. Had to wait quite awhile for Iris because that poor girl came from Pulau NTU and the whole green line stalled. I think it was also because earlier on, 2 SMRT staff were killed on the tracks near Pasir Ris so I guess the train service got affected the rest of the day. 

Anyway, we went to eat ramen at Ikkousha Hakata. Afterward, Iris insisted there was a desserts shop in one of the lanes nearby and we followed her and. . . the shop wasn't in sight HAHAHA. So we walked back to where we started and decided to eat at Bingki Korean Dessert which was just next door. 

It was my first time eating bingsu and WOW, why have I not tried this earlier??

Took the bus home after that and when I reached home, my family took out a cake and sang Happy Birthday for me as well. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Really really haven't felt this much love and happiness and for that, I'm truly grateful for each and everyone of you who spent my birthday with me. Thank you also to all those who wished me Happy Birthday via text, phone call, Facetime, Facebook and Instagram. I really appreciate it and love all of you!

I still don't feel 23 and I'm nowhere near ready to be an adult and take on any responsibilities. But I guess it'll come to me in time. I've just got to be patient and live life comfortably.